the dog ate my homework

i hope that at least some of you have not given up on me. our monitor died (may it rest in peace) about two weeks ago, no one can fix it, and we have to wait for a paycheck to get a new one. i asked one of my daughters (who will remain nameless, mary) to put some sort of a "see you soon" message on here, but she did not. i guess the dog ate her homework, too. see you soon and don't give up hope. i will be back soon to help clear up those issues in life that are so darn difficult.

any questions?

the darker side of DUCKS

some may question that ducks have a darker side. hah! (mirthless laugh). our two female ducks are "on the nest," as they say in "it's a wonderful life," except that they really are. sitting on nests. about 23 hours a day. our one male duck is also sitting on a nest 23 hours a day. he was guarding the female ducks and nests first, but then i think they got annoyed with him and gave him a couple of eggs and said, "here. do something useful, and for heaven's sake, BE QUIET."

these female ducks have undergone a complete change in personality since they laid their eggs.



yes, they have gone from docile, sweet, funny pets, to being threatening and sinister. the other day i went in their pen (to give them food, mind you, and they know me!), and they both came at me. one aimed a peck at my shoe, i aimed a kick at its head. both of us missed. they pecked at chickens who were just standing there, and then one ran out of the pen and pecked one of my cats. now, you can't that that is the behavior of a psychologically normal duck. they resembled nothing so much as animated bulb horns (see fig. 1).

so that's what's happening on my little wannabe farm today. anybody want a duck?

p.s.

i missed two important thoughts:

1. people who are lonely tend to perceive criticism and feel defensive in social situations, so they often prolong their lonely state.

2. i personally feel lonely when no one leaves a comment on my blog. i'm sure it's because no one likes me.

look at all the lonely people

today i heard about a scientific study of loneliness. here is what they found:

1. loneliness and being alone are not at all the same thing. people who are alone are not necessarily lonely, and people who have spouses, children, friends, etc., are not necessarily NOT lonely. anyone over the age of 12 did not need a scientist to tell them this.

2. loneliness is contagious. a person who is lonely raises the "loneliness scores" of their friends and families just by being around them. if you have ever had a friend, sister, mother, spouse, or anyone else around who was suffering from loneliness, you didn't need a scientist to tell you this.

3. the two things i would like a scientist to tell me about loneliness, i.e. how to avoid it, and how to help someone stop being it, were two of the things this study did not address. go figure.

here come BLUEBERRIES!!!!!

i realize that not everyone divides their year into seasons according to their favorite fruits, but don't worry, i am here to help you.

first comes strawberries. i have a goal every year to get tired of strawberries. darn, i failed again, although we ate them until the tiny seeds were so constantly stuck in my teeth that when i finally got them all out, my teeth felt loose.

next is blueberries. they stain your teeth and tongue blue, it's too hot to pick fruit when they are in season, and chiggers seem to have a symbiotic relationship with them (that relationship is that humans feed on the blueberries and then the chiggers feed on the humans), but you've GOT to eat blueberries. don't ask me why, i don't makes the rules!

blackberries are next. i have a theory that the larger they are, the worse they taste.

peaches follow blackberries, which i don't try to grow, but acquire somewhere and eat until i am bathed in juice and need a pumice stone to get the sticky off.

miscellaneous: watermelons are good now. local cantaloupes will be ready in july. corn (or "carn" if you're from utah) is starting to be good now in the store. local is usually good in time for the fourth of july.

if anyone has any questions about fruit and when to eat it and how much to love it, just give me a

call. (for those in UT, luv ya, 'preshiate cha.)