what is it about the word "hobbies" that makes me feel like i'm about 12 years old? do you ever have to fill out a questionnaire (like in RS) that asks what your "hobbies" are? does the question sound to you like, "and what kind of useless little activities do you spend YOUR little leisure hours on"? or am i just cranky?
(sometimes sara joy looks at me out of the side of her eyes when i'm spluttering about something on the radio and says, "somebody needs a nap.")
sometimes i want to make up hobbies that sound important. like "hunting nazis." or "tracking the progress of the killer bees." "having a bake sale to raise money for the national debt." (what kind of a little face can you make with punctuation marks that would be appropriate here, besides *^&%$*&^%%$#?)
rather than actually lie about my hobbies (okay, you all know my deep dark secrets. i crochet. i make bread. i paint gourds, for pete's sake. so i can't lie to you.), i've decided to just rename them. after all, anyone who checked up could find out that i haven't left my property in 14 years, and that sort of lets out hunting nazis.
so what about "watching trends in merchandizing"? (i.e. sitting on the toilet looking at catalogs), or "food storage," (no one needs to know that i'm storing it "on the hoof"), or my favorite, "preserving memories" (i.e. watching those informercials for time-life 1950s CD collections, like "the teen years." i love seeing those great old washed up sad singers). there's also "standing for truth and righteousness" (disapproving of everyone), and "improving my brain age" (trying to be sure i DO remember my address and phone number before i go out. oh, and my name).
i'm thinking of writing a book,
hobbies for zombies. or
hobbies for slobbies. or bobbies, mobbies (might sell in chicago), or sobbies (for the depressed). (will somebody please take this keyboard away from me before it's too late??????????????????????????? what do you think?
