that's what I say!

"I had thought my real chance [of getting "in" with the popular girls in junior high school] would come from going to charm school at the Women's Club last spring, Friday afternoons for six weeks, but I got barred because I didn't have a mother, a grandmother, or even a measly aunt to present me with a white rose at the closing ceremony. Rosaleen [our housekeeper] doing it was against the rules. I'd cried till I threw up in the sink.

"'You're charming enough,' Rosaleen had said, washing the vomit out of the sink basin. 'You don't need to go to some high-falutin school to get charm.'

"'I do so,' I said. 'They teach everything. How to walk and pivot, what to do with your ankles when you sit in a chair, how to get into a car, pour tea, take off your gloves....'

"Rosaleen blew air from her lips. 'Good Lord,' she said.

"'Arrange flowers in a vase, talk to boys, tweeze your eyebrows, shave your legs, apply lipstick...'

"'What about vomit in a sink? They teach a charming way to do that?' she asked.

"Sometimes I purely hated her."


from The Secret Lift of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd, p. 9-10.

i dare to change julia's sacred bread recipe

i hope you have tried julia's bread. it's my very favorite bread that i make. if i had the opportunity to choose between eating homemade julia's bread and san francisco french bread (parisian brand!) i would choose the san francisco bread.

chris's julia's bread

1 c sourdough starter
1 pkt or 2 1/4 t yeast
3 c unbleached flour
2 1/4 t salt
1 c tepid water

put water in bowl. add flour and salt. add yeast and sourdough. follow instructions from previous recipe.

dear julia

"dear julia" is not to be confused with "dear ruby," elder nelson's newest great granddaughter. are we prepared to try dear julia's fransh bread? ("fransh" is what you say for "french" if you are attempting a spurious french accent.)

i found this recipe, not in dear julia's cookbook, but online at this site: breadchick.blogspot.com the particular post is "The Sour Dough: Ze Daring Bakers Conquer French Bread ala Julia." (this is in case you want to go back and get ALL of the instructions.) the ingredients for this bread are flour, water, salt and yeast. period. when i printed out all of the instructions, it came to 25 pages. i will leave out what i think is superfluous (about 24 pages).

don't disdain this lovely bread because of the simplicity of the ingredients. the flavor is marvelous, with a tiny bit of "sour" flavor. this is because of the length of the risings. a really long rising allows the yeast to produce a tiny amount of alcohol that makes this subtle sour flavor. i will put up my own version of this recipe, which contains sour dough starter and is more sour that this version, tomorrow.

dear julia's french bread

1 pkt (2 1/4 t.) yeast
2 1/4 t salt
1 3/4 c warm water
3 1/2 c unbleached flour

(i use a kitchen aid to mix and knead my bread, but do whatever you like about that.) put water and salt in the bowl add 1 c flour with the yeast stirred in. stir. add the rest of the flour and stir or work with your hands to make a soft, sticky dough. turn out onto a kneading surface and let the dough rest for 2-3 minutes. start kneading, adding a little flour here and there to keep the dough from sticking to your fingers. knead until the dough is elastic, about 10 minutes. let dough rest for 3-4 minutes.

put in greased bowl and let rise to triple its original size, about 3-5 hours.

dump risen dough out onto your kneading surface. if the dough seems damp and sweaty, sprinkle it with a T of flour. flatten the dough firmly into a circle, deflating any gas bubbles by pinching them.

return the dough to the bowl. let rise again until not quite triple in bulk. turn the dough out again onto your kneading surface. if damp, then flour.

with this dough, you can make 3 long loaves, 5-6 thin long loaves, 10-12 rolls, 2 medium round loaves, or one large round loaf. cut the dough for the type of loaves you want to make. let dough rest for 5 minutes.

form loaves (most of the rest of the instructions are about how to form a loaf "properly," but i'm sure you will be pleased with whatever you do to make loaves, rounds or rolls out of this dough).

place finished loaves on greased baking sheets that have been sprinkled with cornmeal. let rise one last time about 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 hours. about 1/2 hour before your loaves will be finished rising, preheat oven to 425. also put your teakettle on to boil.

wet the outside of the loaves with water, either with a spray bottle or with a pastry brush dipped in water. put a pan (such as a metal cake pan) on the bottom rack of your oven, and fill with boiling water (you wondered what the teakettle was for, didn't you?). put in your bread and let bake for 3 minutes. then pull the bread out and wet the crust again. put it back in for three more minutes, then pull the bread out and wet the crust again. bake for three more minutes and wet the dough one last time. then remove the pan of water, put the bread back in, and set your timer for about 16 minutes. after 16 minutes, your all-day project of making french bread is finally finished! your crust should be thick, chewy and crunchy. the inside should be soft, coarse, and slightly sour tasting.

bon appetit! as dear julia would say.

ELAINE IS HERE!!!!!! (not to be confused with patrice)

elaine ruth simpson is finally here!!! she came into the world on april 13, 2010. she weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces, and was 19 inches long. she is named after her mom's mom's mom (elaine), and (i'm not sure: everyone has a ruth in their family). she has a little bit of brown hair, is absolutely beautiful.

now, i want to be sure that everyone knows that if i ever had a not-beautiful child or grandchild, i would freely admit it. i just never have had a not-beautiful child or grandchild. elaine looks a lot like her mother as a baby (beautiful).

okay, look at her yourself and YOU decide: is she beautiful or not?




cletus calls her "baby ruth"

"tempus fugit, baby.....

"...oh, the cruelty of the passport [driver's license] renewal [ or at my age, any picture of me taken before the age of 40]. The last time they took your...picture, back in the day, you were okay-looking, even in that ghoulish post office fluorescence. You didn't think you looked okay at the time, but it turns out that you were incorrect. you should have appreciated what you had, the medium-attractive looks you had. Standard rather than "interesting," but, you know, so what."

jenny allen, "Lost and Found," In the Fullness of Time: 32 Women on Life After 50.

update: chicken science project

just wanted to let everyone know that my broody hen who was setting on duck eggs spent three or four days with her head down and her butt up on top of those big fat eggs. then she got disgusted and abandoned her duck eggs and grumbled on down the line to one of the other nesting boxes, and is now being broody there. what can i say? yet an other science project down the pipes.

stirring information

stir up your sourdough starters, ladies, i have two kitchen tested recipes for you to try.

in case you missed the post about how to make sourdough starter, here is a recap: put equal parts of water and unbleached flour into a quart sized mason jar (or other glass or plastic container). stir together. most sourdough recipes call for 1 c sourdough starter, so start with at least 3/4 c flour and 3/4 c water. let it sit on the counter for any time up to a week. i like my starter pretty sour, and i leave mine out about 4-5 days. when it has some alcohol on top and has a pleasant sour, or beery, smell, cover and put in the frig. (be sure to cover with something NOT metal. so that means no lids and rings. i use a sandwich-sized zip-loc bag laid over the top of the jar and secured with a rubber band.)

when you're ready to use it, pull it out of the frig and let it come to room temperature (about 8 hours). after you measure out the amount you need for a recipe, feed with 1/2 c unbleached flour and 1/2 c water. stir it all together and let sit out overnight, then back in the frig until you use it again.

this is a nice mild sourdough-flavored bread. i use it for sandwich bread because it slices so nicely and stays soft. (i call a bread "sourdough-flavored" if the recipe uses yeast besides what's in the sourdough starter. that's pretty much what i make, because the natural sourdough yeasts are S-O S-L-O-W.

sourdough sandwich bread

1 1/4 c sourdough starter
1/3 c warm water
3 T sugar
2 T vegetable oil
1 1/2 t salt
2 t yeast
3 c flour (my favorite way is with 1 c freshly ground whole wheat and 2 c unbleached white)

mix all ingredients except flour in mixer. add flour until the dough is smooth and firm but not dry or hard. grease, oil, or Pam a bowl. put in dough and flip over so whole ball of dough is coated with oil. put in a warm place, cover, and let rise for about 1 hour or until double in size. punch down well, put in greased bread pan and let rise again until bread rises about 1 inch above side of pan. bake at 350 for 30 min, then tent with foil and bake 15 min more. remove from pan immediately, brush with butter if you wish, and let cool. yum.

onto julia's wonderful french (fransh) bread tomorrow.